'taking up space' is not the crime for society, being a woman is.

we have never had an issue with men taking up space. what does that say about our society, and our unconscious bias that has been dripped into our mindset?

the concept of ‘space’, and taking up ‘space’ is peculiarizing to me, because the only time this concept is brought up is when its used to berate women, who are simply just reciprocating the behaviour we see by men in everyday life. '

‘she doesnt stop talking!’

when she talks about something she’s proud of

‘thats not a ladylike way to sit’

when she doesn’t submit to men and allow them to invade their personal space

‘you should be a lawyer when you grow up’

when she simply just argues for what she thinks is right, not for what society is telling her.

the issue society has is not with taking up space. it is that we are women. we have offended twice, and should be doubly punished.

men often take up space, unapologetically and presumptuously. this takes form in many ways, as we are aware, but subconsciously choose to ignore. the well defended man-spreading epidemic. as much as it irritates everyone around the perpetrator, never ask them to move their legs, because they, and any other insecure man that is around you, will erupt in a wave of wrath, over explaining how they ‘need’ the extra space, because of course they need to take up any and all excess space. they’re men. it makes them feel big and powerful. they’re entitled to it. thats what society has told them. so we are pushed and backed into a little corner. at times, forced to use our bag to generate a miniscule, but satisfactory, buffer zone between them.

you stay in your corner. you don’t take up space

it isn’t just physical space im talking about, though. although its the stereotype that women talk to much, it only takes one simple conversation with men to notice how they choose to dominate the entire environment. interruptions. mocking. anecdotes. shouting. ignoring. talking over. laughing. god, its suffocating. you can’t get a word in. you can’t say anything without being mimicked in a high pitch voice. or a condescending ‘you didn’t know that..?’ remark. or a side eye to their, equally as derisive but much more respected, male friend, who has chosen to communicate with you exclusively in the form of tauntful smirks aimed in your direction, in complete disbelief to whatever you’re saying. they don’t take the time to listen to you, they don’t think your words are worth their ‘space’ being sacrificed for just a few minutes. they don’t want to be the ones listening. they want to be the ones talking. they just want to take up space.

so you keep quiet. you don’t take up space.

this is why it can be so shocking to people when women decide to rightfully so, reclaim the adequate amount of ‘space’ that they have lacked for hundreds of years, compared to the substandard, inferior normal that they are so used to seeing. when men feel that their impressive and honourable ‘space’ is invaded, or more so equalised, they feel intimidated. because who are they if not superior? how dare a woman want to have an equal amount of leeway in their corner, opposed to being nipped and tucked, squashed and squeezed into a tiny box, never able to get out, as our male counterparts take up more and more. and society lets them. ‘boys will be boys’, while they stamp out the last ounce of light we have, preventing us from ever being able to reach our full potential, because what if we become more successful than them? god forbid.

society cant handle a woman having space. they see it as doubly offensive. women are at a fundamental disadvantage in their life, because they make one mistake and it is treated like an evil, carefully manipulated scheme. because being a woman means we are already on ‘thin ice’, one slip up, and we break through. one attempt to ‘take up space’ and its like we are threatening our society. like we are threatening patriarchy.

so as women, we are conditioned to believe that our substantial lack of space is actually an asset to us. that we should be grateful for being blessed with a metaphorical suitcase bag worth of space to take up in our lives, expected to pack our physical, social and emotional state into it, and never ever make a fuss about how cramped it is.

you can’t be a woman and take up space. how selfish. how impertinent. how bossy.

be low maintenance.

be petite.

be easygoing.

don’t take up space.